Checking out my own ass. Awesome.
I know at least four of you have owned The Orange Box for quite some time now. So where are the damn posts? This is one of the most significant video game releases in a long, long time and yet our site is dominated by Diablo 2 and Puzzle Pirates? Come on people! F5 = screenshots!
The gaming community is faced with a deluge of high-profile AAA titles, Winter Games 07-08 is right around the corner, and as usual my backlog of games runs dozens deep. So how do I cope? I play casual puzzles on the high seas in search of fame and fortune with a character straight out of Playskool. I fell into this trap once before and my triumphant return has resulted in this:
Money’s runnin’ tight on the high seas, yo
My old character was deleted and so I’ve started again. Check out my dope-ass crib, complete with blood-stained curtains, a phat wooden crate, and lice-infested bedroll. I’ve even got a pet Rat called Ratso to keep me company until I need him for food. Though it is a free-to-play MMO, Puzzle Pirates continues to exhibit game mechanics still only wished for on a larger scale. Imagine teaming up with your chums to man a monstrous frigate in EVE Online, each crewman with a specialty and a direct impact on the outcome of battles. Imagine a sensible guild structure where rank means something other than being able to add new people to the guild. Imagine a community where ‘OMFG, STFU n00b, LOL’ is replaced with ‘Taste cold steel, ya maggot!’
I challenge our editors and readers to give this game a fair chance. You’ll likely be surprised. And even if you don’t stay in it for the long haul, it will give a nice glimpse of what an MMO should be.
One recent Saturday, I played a lot of games. In those moments when I could tear myself away from Team Fortress 2, I played Portal, Project Gotham Racing 4, Stranglehold, Halo 3, Half Life 2 Episode 2, and a couple rounds of Company of Heroes, Opposing Fronts. Oh, and I dabbled with the demo of UT3.
I decided, after this digital gluttony, to take a day off and play no games at all. And, for some reason, I started thinking of Yom Kippur, that Holy day in the Jewish calendar devoted to fasting, atonement, and forgivness. Now, I don’t mean to trivialize Yom Kippur, nor elevate a hobby to greater significance, but I started thinking of this day as my gaming Yom Kippur. After all, with so many potentially great games just up the road a ways, what better time to undergo a day of purification.
So, I played no games. I purged my various hard drives of old games, demos, and mods that I knew I would never return to. I defragged, I cleaned the registry, I dusted the monitor. And while I suppose the following is really just between myself and the Great Game Maker in the Sky, I offer these sins up for forgiveness:
–Not finishing games. Sorry, S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Please forgive me, Medal of Honor: Airborne. Don’t take it personally, Tomb Raider: Anniversary. These are all good games, and I may return to them, but they and a few others remain in various states of incompleteness.
–Not sticking with any one MMORPG. Vanguard, I thought you were the one. LOTRO, what happened? We were so happy. I wonder if the guild I started still even exists. Sword of the New World, you never had a chance, and Tabula Rasa, don’t get your hopes up. I have issues. And WoW, I know you’re waiting patiently like the tired old whore that you are: I’ll be back, and this time I’ll stay. I promise.
There are many more. Too many really, but I just noticed that my neighbor’s goat is wandering free and I think there might just be a quick and easy fix to the guilt and shame.
Shalom.
This guy is the coolest Ethiopian soldier ever. He’s so cool, he’s even wearing a sweater and a scarf in the desert.
… just not the right ones apparently. But I managed to defeat Diablo anyway.
My assassin was not developed very well, but I think that’s something most first timers experience. Diablo is not someone you go after with melee attacks and well, that’s all I’ve got. I developed the Shadow Discipline tree exclusively; putting most of my points into Cloak of Shadows which is great against many enemies, but not against one gigantic one. From some of the online reading I’ve done, it turns out that Assassin is the one class that works best with a variety of skills working together, rather than focusing on one skill set. I also dumped too many points into Shadow Warrior instead of saving them for when I was able to add Shadow Master so my Shadow Master was weak. It didn’t matter too much against Diablo since both my minion and my mercenary would get wiped out in a matter of seconds by either his fire or lightening attack.
I was able to defeat Diablo by taking advantage of the fact that he doesn’t leave the center of the Sanctuary. I hung out just outside his territory and pounded him over and over and over with Psychic Hammer, a skill that I had developed early in the game (as it was the only Shadow Discipline available) but had not found useful most of the time. I still had to dodge his ranged fire and lightening attacks, use health potions any time I got to half empty, and town portal about 7 times to restock on potions and catch my breath. His hit points were going down so slow that there was no perceivable change if I watched his health bar. If I died, his health would go back to full and I got a hair’s breadth away a few times. The whole battle took close to an hour.
On to Act V, the bonus expansion act!
Sony has announced that it’s phasing out the 60G model of the PS3 in favor of a cheaper 40G model. On top of this, they are giving up PS2 backwards compatibility entirely. The latter news has all but completely extinguished my desire to buy a PS3. Does anyone here still plan to get one?
http://kotaku.com/gaming/ps3/scee-ps3-60gb-nixed-for-uk-too-307651.php
I’m wondering if the decision to nix compatibility is due to the PS2 still selling well. It out sold all three next gen consoles last Xmas and is still priced fairly high considering how old the technology is. Frankly, I think they’re fucking liars and knew from the start that full compatibility wasn’t even possible, but had to lie about it to compete with Nintendo and Microsoft. They better get their asses in gear or they’re going to get killed this Xmas also.
Let me give you a lightning round run-down on how I waste my time:
Gametap: meh, it’s okay, but I’m pretty sure that I wouldn’t spend a monthly on it. Joust FTW.
World of Warcraft: I don’t quest as much as I used to, but I’m making hell of cash manufacturing bags of various types for auction. Which is sad.
Project: Snowblind: Brixtone claims it’s the spiritual successor to Deus Ex: Invisible War, but it’s just not as interesting, not to mention the “stealth” aspect is pointless when the “gross violence” option works better.
Overlord: Fun in concept and humorous in execution, but the gameplay is repetitive in some ways; I’m a big fan of Codemasters because of their innovation and writing, so you might want to peruse some of their other projects. In particular I am a fan of the oft overlooked title Second Sight.
Battlefield 2142: I made fun of Scrimpnut because he used to assert that Unreal Tournament was far superior to Quake 3 because the controls were better. Those of you who frequent this site may recognize that this is not the first time disagreements have been had. WASD and a mouse, how different can the controls be? As much as it pains me, and as much as my innards may twist with discomfort over admitting such a thing, he may have something going. Battlefield feels right. It feels the way I envision all shooters should respond. The controls are taut, the sensitivity is spot-on, and gunning soldiers down gives me a discomforting feeling of satisfaction. It’s only problem is that games can be laughably unbalanced. If your team doesn’t have its ducks in a row, expect to become enraged by frustration.
The really sad thing is that I have recently become engrossed with a relatively new game that I find utterly fascinating.