Can you chat and wank at the same time?

http://www.naughtyamericathegame.com/html/trailer/index.html

Check out this trailer for the upcoming MMOOG (Massively Multiplayer Online Orgy Game) “Naughty America: The Game”.

Not to be confused with “Naughty America: The Book” or “Naughty America:The Flamethrower”.

Including a webcam feed while you have virtual sex with a stranger online reaches new levels of creepiness I didn’t think were possible.

The game is being produced by Noah Dudley who happens to be the sexiest game developer alive.

GameSpy is looking particularly awesome today. They have a banner ad for Auto Assault has a promo quote that reads “a breath of fresh air in a world that just doesn’t need any more magic swords.” First off, the review quote is from GameSpy itself, which comes as no surprise as the banner ad takes up a third of the page area. Second, there’s an ad for GameSpy’s exclusive column “World of Warcraft at Level 60″ DIRECTLY BELOW IT. Way to go GameSpy, dump on fantasy MMOs then promote one without slipping a pixel in between.

A few months back I got to play some old school Duck Hunt on my friend’s Nintendo. I was in the groove and got all the way to round 51 and 2,014,500 points in the Clay Pigeon level before I got bored and handed the gun over to my friend. I have witnesses who can attest to the fact that I was at least six feet away from the TV. After about round 20 the gameplay remains the same; miss one and you’re done. It became an endurance test to see how long I could squint my eye and hold my arm up. I knew going in that no matter how far I got, some kid in Japan would have gone further so when my friends started falling asleep I threw in the towel.

Shooting the TV gangsta style

Striking fear into the universe with my Labia Cruisers

Protoss mission seven is history leaving only three more missions to go. That pussy Tassadar got too upset over Protoss killing Protoss that he surrendered to be tried by the Judicator. Now Fenix, Raynor and I have to save him before he gets executed. It’s sort of like the South Park movie, only in space.

Is she wearing UGGs?!?

The demo is here to announce the impending return of the girl that kicked off a whole generation of games. That’s right, the big-breasted one is back in action and it’s certainly been an interesting ride for the past decade. For those who don’t know, a little history…the original Tomb Raider practically defined the 3D action-adventure genre. It may not have been much more than Indiana Jones as a hot chick, but it definitely clicked. Tomb Raider 2 came along and added new moves and vehicles to the up-and-coming franchise. Here’s where things take a turn for the worse, or at least for the stagnant. The series just got lazy. Despite title after title being churned out like Madden games, the graphical improvements were few and far between. The level design and storylines became more and more convoluted and nonsensical. Worst of all, the control scheme which had been functional (and perhaps even innovative) in 1996 was downright archaic in 2001. All movement was based on an underlying grid system similar to the original Prince of Persia’s overt one…want to walk forward slowly? Move one grid segment at a time. Running jump? You need to clear 3 grid squares in succession before jumping in order for it to qualify as a running jump. In the intervening years, we’ve seen all manner of games come along that used analog controls to move the character fluidly through the 3D world.

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This past Friday I got my hands on the newly released demo of Rise of Legends, the new RTS from Big Huge Games and its distributor Microsoft Game Studios. I’ve been in something of a strategy kick recently with my purchase of Command and Conquer: the First Decade, so I got a little excited when I saw the released screens.

I think what drew me to this game are the races. The released screens show some real creativity and artistic talent in choosing and executing themes for each race. The demo includes the mechanically inclined Vinci and the magically inclined Alin. I really like the Alin so far; one of its units is a giant flame-breathing salamander. Style point aplenty.

Rise of Nations (the franchise off which this is a spin-off) has been very popular series and has garnered no small amount of praise. I wished I could tell you that I’d played the game but this demo is my first exposure to the series.

So far the game is relatively standard fare for RTS with a few extra layers of strategy. Each mission is preceeded by a screen in which you can choose which zone to invade next. Those who remember the original Dune RTS will know what I’m talking about. In each mission, players must also juggle trade with military conquest and securing trade routes becomes a must.

I’m not at the point where I’m slavering to buy the game yet, but I’m intrigued and I haven’t been disappointed yet.

Not to be totally left in the dust by our own DevilsAdvocate, I have finished Giants: Citizen Kabuto (one of my Winter Games 2006 titles). Its developer, Planet Moon Studios, was founded by the team from Shiny Entertainment who created the original MDK and it shows right from the start. Giants follows three storylines across a group of islands starting with the crash landing of some spacemen known as Meccaryns.

Looking for a Pub
The Meccaryns (Meccs for short) all come equipped with a jetpack (w00t) and are voiced by a bunch of brits. Their dialogue is quite simply some of the funniest video game writing I’ve heard. These guys are all about running and gunning while they track down their entire landing party. They’re helped along the way by the short-statured native inhabitants of the islands called Smarties. The Smarties are at war with the Sea Reapers and so the Meccs agree to help.

(Read on …)