I’m lost in the slaughterhouse, which sounds like fun, but there are all these methane breathing guards on patrol who want to hurt me. I have to either sneak around them or get behind them and kick their air tanks which chokes them and then propels them into the air. I can’t remember what I’m supposed to be doing here other than staying alive…

In other news, The Memory Effect are playing the Middle East Upstairs this Thursday the 15th at 11:30PM. Come and celebrate the successful filing of your 2003 return with some rock music. Our EP will be on sale for the first time at the show. Members of eatmybomb.com will get a 50% discount when they present their official eatmybomb members card at the merch table. Hope to see you there, don’t forget your cards!

I’m in the village that Kessler led me to through his apartment. Although as you’ll see by the snaps below, I think he had other ideas in mind. The village is very twisty and winding. I’m hoping that behind one of the wooden doors is the magical land of Narnia. Much to my dismay, simply another Himmler lackey.

And you wonder why I never like renting from Avis.

Um, Kessler. Why have you led me into a darkened room and an unmade bed. Wait, is that Barry Manila?ar?

Do you come with the car?

Nothing alleviates Tax Time Weariness like Germans shot in the kneecaps. So, I’m investigating this “Tram” in Castle Wolfenstein and by reading the document on the wall, I may have to actually remember something I read in a FPS, very unique and intersting. Details of my investigation to come soon.

1 + 1 = German Meat

Maybe it’s me, but the Germans would have done a lot better in WWII if they didn’t die all the time.

Okay, so no flashy screen captures for me tonight, I just wanted to point some things out about our friends at a website that rhymes with bananamazon.com:

1) Grim Fandango and Curse of Monkey Island are both available in the Outlet section for $9.99. Given the discussion recently, I thought I’d point it out. I suppose that means you could find them in your local gaming retailer, but then you’d have to go outside. Remember, the Tofu mask and spicy nacho cheese are key.

2) Halo is listed in the FPS: sci-fi, FPS: military/history, Adventure, and Strategy categories of PC games. The first three I’ll believe, but Strategy?! Here, try this strategy: don’t get killed by nobody. Or you could try my alternate strategy: kill everyone. You can feel the global strategic implications already, can’t you? They should put it in Simulations, because it’s not like you’re actually killing aliens and saving the universe - just simulating it. Or they could put it in Sports and Outdoors, because let’s face it: Master Chief does go outdoors - it’s not like he’s driving that tank around the living room. bananamazon.com needs to stop pushing Halo like it’s crack, and start pushing Halo like it’s something that fewer people do, like ketamine.

Yep, that’s what think.

This 1997 Interplay game is quite possibly the most unique adventure game I’ve ever played. It takes place on the Orient Express and the story is straight out of an Agatha Christie mystery. The characters are filmed actors that have been rendered as three dimensional cartoons. They mostly move as a series of stills and occasionally are fully animated. What makes this game so unique are two things: it’s non-linear interactivity, and it’s game saving.

First of all, there is no game saving to speak of. Your progress is constantly being saved. If you die or want to approach a problem differently, you have to use a clock to rewind the time and try it again. I’ve only played the game for a few hours, but so far this seems like a very nice device. Since you’re bound to the confines of the train, you don’t need a lot of saved game slots to save you the trouble of traversing through a large map unnecessarily. Having only one game “thread” makes the story feel more immersive and real.

Secondly, the characters in the train move about and act like real people do. They eat in the dining car at dinner times, sleep at night, and mill about the train as they wish. This takes some getting used to for those of us accustomed to the standard adventure game where characters can always be found in the same place. I get the feeling that I’m going to have to play this one a few times to really experience everything it has to offer. It’s a lot like Blade Runner in that respect; another great, non-linear adventure game.

Has anyone else here played this one?

Well, until I get the pre-XP games working I might as well play one that was made for XP. Actually, I should say it was made for Xbox. This is definitely a made-for-console game and it’s a bit awkward on PC even with a gamepad. I might invest in an analog USB controller so I can control the camera better. Other than that, amazing graphics and very entertaining. As Jeff said, the fighting and racing are very simple and easy, but you still come out of it feeling like a bad ass. The most fun so far has been just exploring and taking pictures of the local animals. I think it’s funny whenever a new creature attacks me and I take it’s picture to send to the science center before I kill it with my stick.

One complaint however. What demographic is this for? You’d think it was marketed for the Zelda aged youngsters because of it’s simple interface and annoying over explaining of the controls, but the plot is politically complex and I don’t think kids could get into it. Perhaps that’s why it’s not selling very well. Only manchildren like Jeff and I get into it.

It’s time I updated my video card from a Voodoo 2 BlackMagic 3D to something made in this decade. I need either an ATI Radeon (7200-9800) or something in the NVIDIA Geforce family (models 2-FX) to run “Beyond Good and Evil” on my PC. Any suggestions for a good bang for your buck video card?

So Neverhood has some save game writing problems in Windows XP. I’m trying to track down a solution on the internet. In my search I found this:
http://www.scummvm.org/ an emulator that allows you to play Dos based Lucasarts systems on XP. Pretty cool, eh?

I’m looking into DosBox and other Dos emulators, but I don’t think Neverhood is a Dos game so… any suggestions?

It looks like Jeff is going to have to help me install a double OS on my PC to get this to work.

Somebody here is a Sour Kraut.

First off, Return to Castle Wolfenstein is the most fun I’ve had in a first person shooter since Marathon (the first one). Excellent levels and not just a blaze through of carnage like Wolfenstein 3D was (although still one of my favorite games of all time). I’m only on the second level but I’m hoping that there are many many more to come. Made through the first level being killed about 76 times because I couldn’t figure out where this godforsaken sniper was. But in the end, I shot him in the arse. I know Tim’s been playing it. We need to set up a multiplayer Wolf House Party. Because elimiinating Nazis should be a shared activity. Good Times. Good Times.