So I lost my mind, spent the 100 bucks (roughly) and bought Madden 2004 and the Network Adapter (I’m ready for some Network rumbling, btw) and I lost my first regular season game 48-3 to the SEAHAWKS of all teams. The AI of the computer teams has definitely improved in 2004 although I couldn’t regularly beat the 2003 ones either. For anyone who has just gotten Madden 2004, do the training camp drills. They are definitely helpful. Also, for anyone who plays Hot Shots3, I beat the old lady (the last one you can beat), and it took me shooting a 55 to beat her. A little ridiculous.

What’s Your Name, Honey?

The other night I got home and while trying to pay some bills accidentally finished Silent Hill 2. For those of you who have played the first Silent Hill, you already know what’s going on, but if you haven’t, here’s a quick synopsis: You’re a guy who has a serious problem with dirty hospital bathrooms. You announce to the hot nurse (pictured above) that they’ve got a “code brown” in the 2nd floor lavatory. She gives you some “I’ve got no eyes or mouth” bullshit and so you enlist the help of crazy ex-girlfriend. You know the one with the tatoos and the piercings? You realize it was a mistake when she brings over her friends Funk Demon and Dr. Neckbone.

Honestly, I can’t describe this game to anybody. I’ll tell you this much: it made me afraid to leave my house. At one point, I had to put down the controller, walk away and read Babar. But it looked great, played great, and as you know, wholesale zombie killing never gets old.

No, I’m not talking about TV’s Emmanuel Lewis. I’m referring to a game which Jason mentioned the other day. It doesn’t have a name. It’s a short point-and-click adventure game that you can easily finish during a lunch break (unless you’re stupid). I really can’t describe it so I’ve included a screenshot. Go here to play it.

Now, back to some more SSX Tricky. On another note, Soul Calibur 2 comes out this week. Buy it. Buy it now.

It’s Crazy-Go-Nuts

I found this at Costco for really cheap and decided to go ahead and get it. I then made the mistake of playing the bonus campaign first. I always do things backwards when I’m gaming. I can usually tell what path they want me to take and I usually try to do it differently. Usually I get burned for doing things this way. This time was no exception. I had 3 heros stacked to the gills with unique items and powerful as can be and then at the end of the first act, they tell me “To Be Continued at Blizzard.com” - basically I have to wait and download the remaining acts later. Then when I start the real campaign I’m back to square one with a weak little elf hero and lots of annoying hint bubbles telling me what I already know. Oh well.

So far the upgrades are fantastic especially with regards to item management. I hated having to leave items at the side of the road because my inventory was full. Now I can sell them or even upgrade my non-hero units to carry things for me. The new creeps are excellent as well. I know, I’ll be getting back to Deus Ex shortly, but for now this one hurts my arm less and at least I’m still gaming, right?

So, my wife comes back from an 8-week trip to Boston this weekend and I have eagerly been anticipating showing her the new big screener and the new PS2 with all the wicked graphics and intenste gameplay. So, I boot it up, show her Madden
2003, Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance, and GTA III and these are the first words that come out of her mouth: “That’s neat and everything but can you play Tetris on it?” As I pointed the shotgun at my skull, I then reconsidered and thought that yes, even old school, non-graphics intensive games could be enjoyed as well on the PS2. So, off to Electronics Boutique this afternoon to purchase TetrisWorlds and Activision Anthology.

P.S. If anybody here plays Madden 2003, can you please tell me how the @!&#? to play defense. I’m 1-5 on the season: my starting quarterback is out for the season, and my #1 wide receiver is out for 6 weeks (both with broken legs).

Found it cheap.
Wanted someting different.
Graphics… they are square. Well, cube to be correct.
Still a little confused about some things after a couple of days of playing.
However, you have to love a game in which you can make your character take a poo.

Cubivore.

I destroyed roller coaster tycoon tonight with my award-winning park “Damn Good”. Check out my two biggest money-making rides, my roller coasters “Baby Fat” and “The Excitable Woman”.

Several of the other rides, namely “No Fun”, my ferris wheel and “Turtleneck”, my scrambler ride, had to be shut down for loss of profits.

But thank God the swinging ship ride, “Ladling Soup” and the slide, “Everybody Wins” were there to consistently satisfy the crowds.

Final Score:
$8694 park value
652 guests
1 Panda Bear

Let’s get a few items out of the way before I start:

1. The Getaway sucks dick. I shall strike it from my list and my game collection.

2. Where the hell is everybody?

3. Will & I didn’t finish Gran Turismo 3. Don’t give us any shit, we’re busy.

4. I like cotton candy.

When things get busy, you have to pull out the games that you can easily walk away from after 30 minutes. To that end I’ve busted out Roller Coaster Tycoon. A lot of time and love into my first park. I called it Screw Russia keeping the anti-Russo theme alive in Summer Games ‘03. It featured great rides like Not Fun (a stupid slide), Rapist Inside (haunted house), Shit Captain (a swinging viking ship), and finally Money Shot (my park’s premium roller coaster). It was a modest start to my life as a theme park baron but you’ve got to pay your dues.

How low can I sink? Two words: PAY TOILETS

Cross another one off the magic list! I sort of beat this level sneakily. I had gotten it to the point where there was only 20 seconds left and saved it, but was then defeated a few seconds later. I went back and through trial and error I managed to get a wisp to escape and build a well down near the middle of the screen. The enemy didn’t find it in time and I won! I know it’s not very heroic, but I’m playing the game by their rules not yours, bitch. I was then treated to some very funny credits which included outtakes and bloopers.

BTW - has anyone beaten this on the hard difficulty? I’m interested in knowing how the ending is different. Welp, time to finish up Deus Ex! I’ve got a long way to go….