Some time ago, several EMB editors got together to discuss the phenomenon of “WoW Burnout” in the GamersHell Podcast. One astute editor - whom I will not name here so as to seem modest - asserted that they were bored with the game because they haven’t tried all the angles. Most notably, none of the bored editors had tried the game from the perspective of the horde. That changed last week, and the end result is what is being called “the second coming,” or alternatively, “why they all reactivated their accounts.” Observe:
EatMyBomb is now serving up hot, fresh, horde questing on the Eldre’Thalas server. We are guildless currently, but a guild charter is being passed around and we anticipate guilditation in the near future.

Tolobos is happy to be back in action.

On another note, my sister and I are still running with the alliance crowd as well. You can see here from this suspicious screen:

I thought this place was a monastery, not a strip club.
In short, long live the horde.

When it comes to video games I have to admit that it’s the little things that amuse me. I love a good story and eye candy as much as the next guy, but if there’s a humorous device in a game it’ll keep me entertained for hours. When I spend hours playing with a gun that turns my enemies into sheep or with a talking skull that tells knock-knock jokes, I like to think that it’s my brain taking a break from all the meaningful and ponderous manners that I normally spend my days on.

The new demo of Dark Messiah of Might and Magic has just such a device. They’ve devised a way in which the venerable “kick” can play a significant role in combat. I’m not talking about a high falutin’ kick of the “No Shadow” variety, I’m talking about rearing back and delivering a boot to the chest that an FBI agent might use to open a locked door. Kicking your foes around can be patently amusing as the dungeons in DMoMM - if I may use such a contraction - are, like my childhood home, sprinkled liberally with spiky walls:

Stick around!

Perhaps even better than the spiky walls are the high cliffs, which sentries are prone to standing next to:

Nice view, huh?

Why don’t you take a closer look?

I’m pretty sure that the physics are a little off in this particular action as I am positive that kicking a grown man wearing armor will not in real life send him flying through the air like a tire hunting for Mary, but goddamn it’s fun. It’s a 1.7 gig download for a fifteen minute demo, but man, the kicking is completely worth it.

I have a need.  It’s a deep-seated need that cries out for expression.  It’s a need to tell you to watch this “Half-Life 2: Episode 2″ trailer over at GamersHell.  It showcases a demo of a puzzle-type adventure that Valve is releasing along with the next chapter of the Half-Life 2 franchise.  It’s pretty damn cool.  Near the end of the video they show a flashing montage of possible maneuvers in the game and it’s worth pausing the video to look at them.

I was against the whole “episodic content” business from the beginning.  Mostly because $20 for 4-6 hours of game play isn’t really much of a deal and it seems like a conniving way to chivvy money out of my hands for delivering sequentially less product.  If, however, Valve includes “Portal” and a new version of “Team Fortress” with the next episode I may reconsider that stance.

EatMyBomb’s original mission was to provide a place where those of us who were hopelessly hooked on video games had a place and a motivation to finish off all of those old games that we’d bought but never finished. Or even started, for that matter. It seemed like a logical step then, for us to engage in a little old-school gaming on occasion. Let’s face it, there are a ton of good games out there that we just didn’t have time to play when they hit shelves and got media coverage. Generally these jewels just slipped away under the constant influx of new games, drowning in digital hype. The Must-Play Exchange was concieved as a way for us to find those old games that we missed but others just loved. Read on to find out how it’s going down.

(Read on …)

So it’s down to 2 things. Either this company has the most brilliant marketing scheme ever concieved or it’s populated by brain-dead mouth breathers. I can’t decide.

Witness the marvel that is the game Shlongg. I don’t have anything to say about the game itself - the screens look pretty pedestrian - but I want to know who decided this game should be named “Shlongg.” At what point does a euphemism for a dude’s wedding tackle become a good name for a video game? Where will this madness lead us? To sequels to be named “Wing-Wang” and “Male Genitalia”?

It’s almost like the game is one giant vehicle for a penis joke. One imagines 16-year olds sitting in the basement pondering mischief:

“Dude, let’s go spray-paint dirty words on the old railroad trestle.”
“No way man, let’s do some programming, found a company, and release a console game that’s got a euphemism for ‘penis’ as a title.”
“Word.”

It gets worse. The company that made this gem is named NotSoft. Is this a descriptor of the state of their Shlongg? And if so, did I really want to know this nugget of truth? I keep thinking I’m going to find a website where someone confesses that this whole scheme is an elaborate joke.

Let me drop a couple of priceless quotes on you from the manual:

There are 12 types of Shlongg that we have encountered to date.

12?!  I hope not all at once, you whore.

Shoss is the “Bull” Shlongg. It protects the entrance to the Queen’s chamber.

On Earth we call it “cock-blocking.”

If you really need to find out, Shlongg hit stores on the 4th of July. I’m pretty sure the adult video industry has a term for when something gets hit by a Shlongg.

Cease your tomfoolery and listen to me tale of high-seas adventure! Yarr.

Brixtone talked me into playing “Sid Meier’s Pirates!” and I’ve gotta say, I’m digging every minute of it. There’s really nothing more satisfying than pulling up along side a treasure galleon, giving it the broadside, then boarding the ship to plunder and loot. It’s been a while since I’ve missed sleep and showed up late to work late because of a game, but this one did just that to me last night.

Time to plunder booty.
The gameplay is pretty varied. All the aspects of a pirating life are represented in this game (at least, what we wished pirating could be), so you’ll find yourself in ship-to-ship combat, fencing duels, city raiding, and even seduction. Find an attractive governers daughter and you can use your rakish charm to sweep her off her feet.

Still time to plunder booty.
I will admit to being a fan of pirates. In the epic battle of pirates versus ninjas I come down firmly in the pirate camp, but I’ll go out on a limb and say this game is fun even for ninja fans. At $20 it’s a great price as well.

My name is Inigo Montoya.

GameSpy is looking particularly awesome today. They have a banner ad for Auto Assault has a promo quote that reads “a breath of fresh air in a world that just doesn’t need any more magic swords.” First off, the review quote is from GameSpy itself, which comes as no surprise as the banner ad takes up a third of the page area. Second, there’s an ad for GameSpy’s exclusive column “World of Warcraft at Level 60″ DIRECTLY BELOW IT. Way to go GameSpy, dump on fantasy MMOs then promote one without slipping a pixel in between.