I like to think about the fact that some people go home and watch TV. Some go home and read books. I have a co-worker who skips work early to go fishing. It makes me feel better about myself when I think about how much World of Warcraft I play. I don’t really watch TV and I certainly don’t fish, so is it okay that I play WoW instead?

I’m starting to get deja vu; I suspect I may have written a nearly identical post in the recent past, so I’ll move on and cut to the proverbial chase. Hah! “Chase.” Weak irony gives me the giggles and in this case, it’s weakly ironic because I’ll be chasing much faster now. To be precise, 100% faster plus a 3% bonus for the Carrot-On-A-Stick trinket:

I opted for the all leather exterior with wool trim.

(Read on …)

that make life worth living:

AND I’M GOING TO OUTLAND!

WOOO!

In other news, I am the first human being on earth to win WoW by completing all quests. Observe:

You may begin your worship.

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion: good or bad? People were lining up to heap praise on this monstrosity for reasons totally unclear to me. I say it was awful and here’s why:

1) Difficulty scaled world. No matter where you go or when, the monsters are just right for your level. Remember that highwayman you bumped into when you were level 1? Well now that you’re level 50, he’s back and he’s been working out. LAME. What’s fun about a world where no matter how bad-ass you get, the jackasses wandering the streets are equally bad-ass?

2) Lack of direction or narrative. Is a story too much to ask for? Bethesda wanted to give players the freedom to do whatever they wanted, but the result was a world devoid of urgency or necessity. Save Kvatch, don’t save Kvatch, whatever. It’ll still be there 20 levels from now. I’ll save that last heir later, I’ve got other shit to do. Like collect fungus.

3) Collecting fungus. This world has a lot of shit in it, including a biodiverse array of fungi. You can even steal the flatware off the dinner table if you want to. That’s a good use of programming power, by the way. It’s important that you be able to pick up the shrimp fork and the salad fork individually. Miss Manners would be proud.

4) Goofy character models. Everyone in this game looks like they’re either retaining water or they’re an Andean mummy. Your goofy face tools make the baby Jesus cry.

5) Pretension. There’s a lot of this floating around. Who the hell do you think you are, J.R.R. Tolkein?

I weep for Fallout 3.

ps. Brixtone thinks I hate all RPG’s that are not from Black Isle. I don’t know if that’s true or not, but I do know that I hate Brixtone.

Hi, I’m a bloated goofball, it’s nice to meet you!

The ficus is an excellent corporate plant.  It’s very robust, requires little water and sunlight, and makes an excellent cubicle companion for today’s modern worker.

The forums over at GamersHell, on the other hand, are full of terrible corporate plants.  Sony’s recent faux pas is the perfect illustration of a company getting caught with its hand the viral marketing cookie jar and it’s a growing trend of insulting marketing techniques.  I’m pretty confident that there’s no shortage of hired marketers - clumsy hired marketers - posting over at GH trying to pimp out their games.

Take this thread for example.   I’m pretty sure that the primary thread drivers are also producers of the game in question.  I’ll be honest, I lose respect for any game and any company that goes for this sort of crap.  I’m perfectly willing to listen to a corporate pitch about why their game is the next coming, but I feel insulted when companies aren’t up-front about their marketing and pretend like we’re too stupid to recognize a paid endorsement.

My dream would be to have a forum where these types get e-booed every time they raise their shill heads and cry out the wonders of a game they get paid to promote.  Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe these are just highly organized, PR savvy, eager to please fans with an array of promotional links at their excited, trembling hands, but honestly?  It walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck.

That’s right, you’re hooligans.