Unlike Mister Scrimpnut, I can’t claim i got to the top of the mountain without a helping buddy. But I’m sure the debt which Brixtone holds over me is more than compensated by the pure joy of being able to FLY OVER ANNOYING SH*T (you know, those things the game gods intentionally put in your way like random elite giants or hordes of randy scorpions).  

Behold, and he said ‘it is good’…..

But not the best….

As soon as I work off this debt to Brixtone I can call it quits. Until then, if you need me I’ll be killing timbermaw for a certain someone….

Sometime around Midnight last night the Devil decided to cash in on the longstanding offer of my soul for a next-gen gaming console. While I do not recall receiving confirmation of the transaction, I did have a terrible nightmare about a randy Bea Arthur chasing me in a clown suit (…but that could have been caused by my preholiday hangover). Nonetheless, I consider it a done deal.

Whatever the circumstances, either by demonic influence or plain-old temporary insanity, my wife saw fit to leave this under the tree….

*

*Singing of Angels not included

Wonderous visions of me getting pummeled by Brixtone and Daedalus in Fight Night 3 instantly filled my head. Following close on the heels of that thought was a thought of even greater anticipation: pummeling my wife (or at least her hapless & untrained avatar). (Read on …)

Pestilence,  the gift that keeps on giving…..

I have developed an acute addiction to Warhammer 40K:Dawn of War - Dark Crusade. And in this holiday season, I can see how the Necron Lord of Kronus is just like Santas Claus…..if Santa only had one list…….and it was titled “Things to Kill.”

Thank goodness Brixtone helped me out and forced me to buy Battlefield 2142….?

 I wonder if I can get some holiday shopping done in-game, what with all that fancy advertising EA has.

Amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it…or in the case of Stubbs the Zombie, when you put other people’s minds to it.

I know I’m not the only one here at EMB playing this game, so I’ll spare you an indepth assesment. Long and short of it:

You need to play this game. Its short, sweet and quirky. Its original enough in the gameplay department to keep you playing thru its (lamentably) brief story.

Force Fields? Lasers? Retro-Futuristic Interior Decorating? This one has it all….

The game is as full of gore as it is campy dialog. It reminded me of the No One Lives Forever series in that I often would stop while I was playing the game to say “hey, this game is fun and funny”. Whenever I was on the verge of saying “okay, here comes the filler ‘rinse and repeat, run & gun section’ where they ran out of fresh material,” I would be treated to a unique boss battle or funny cut scene.

(Read on …)

Wipe another off the list for “Winter” Games 2006.

3 down, 2 to go. Time for some head-crunchin’, zombie shuffling action.

Stubbs - here I come!

Sooo, I said “finish the single player tournament” was my goal for Winter Games…right? Phew!  

Here’s where the fun ends and the torture begins.

I call this “the Atari Method”: making your players suffer just to see the end by facing a completely superior, cheating sonofabitch. And what kind of a name is “ClanLord” anyway? If theres one thing i hate more than a big ugly lizard man pwning my ass, its a big ugly racist lizard man pwning my ass. I distinctly heard him call me a ‘dago’ just before he humiliated me with a shield gun kill.

Oh, the humanity!

Wipe another off the list, boy-o. 

Check it out - it’s an Ash chin.

My first experience with this game was less than stellar. But with some driver updates and a little time to cool my heels I was ready to come back.

 First off - if there’s one thing this game is….its nice and easy. Not easy as in “they’re shooting flowers at me,” but just very well portioned out. Its easy to learn, easy to digest.  Save points are predictibly spaced, health & power ups frequent, and successful tactics are not exceedingly complex.  

(Read on …)