Mike was right when he told me at lunch today, “You’ll finish Hitman 2 tonight.” The last mission was an absolute slaughter which was an interesting change from all of the silent assassinating.

I found myself in the middle of Japan at the summer getaway of the crimelord Takeru Kobayashi. My good pal Diane at Agency left out the detail that the place would be crawling with freakin’ ninjas. Along the way, I was helped by my buxom friend Hooker McSlut who distracted the ninjas with jumping jacks. Needless to say, I killed the guy and paid the hooker for services rendered. Next I was off to a software company where my mission was to kill a fat computer programmer. What better way to do so than to pose as a member of the local fire department and hack the entire staff to pieces? Seriously when you get a popup that says “Take Fire Axe”, you know you’re in for a party. I tried the mission two ways: once as the fireman and once as the wily pizza delivery boy. As it turned out, fatso had a twin. He ate the bomb P. Diddy style in the hot tub.

Next stop: somewhere I don’t remember but everybody was wearing orange robes. My mission here was to meet up with agent Will Ferrell and then kill all Yankees fans in the area.

At the end, I was sent to a hospital where the mission was to get my swerve on with a nurse and perform crazy surgery on a cult leader.

Both of the Hitman games were a kick in the ass and a nice break from the standard FPS. I recommend to anyone needing a break from Quake. (rhyme)