Man, sometimes I really envy city dwellers. It seems like they’ve got it all–crime, pollution, racial unrest, sky-high prices–and, they’ve got rollercoasters. Big-ass theme parks with big-ass rollercoasters.

I live in Oregon and what do we have? We have an “amusement park” called Oaks Park featuring a “roller coaster” that might have been a “thrill ride” in the ’40s–the 1840s. And possibly, not even then. (see photo below)

Yeah, I know there are coaster fanatics who overcome geographical limits and make lifetime pilgrimages to ride every coaster in the world, but c’mon–for most of us coaster-deprived folks, we have to make do with coaster sims. And one of the best just got better.

In the dark days before computer coaster sims, we had our lurid, twisty-track imaginations and sometimes “toy” coaster kits of plastic tubing that (if we were lucky, and the dog hadn’t ingested some critical component) would shuttle a ball-bearing around a pathetic series of sad, limp loops at speeds computated in geologic time. I remember when I heard about the impending release of Rollercoaster Tycoon I was thrilled–I mean, see-your-doctor-it’s-been-more-than-four-hours thrilled. Wow! Cool! Finally, I could design and ride my own coasters and stop giving all those unattainable theme park rides that doleful “why not me?” look. Which they hate.

Well, we all know that RTC and it’s two sequels are among the most popular computer game titles ever–designer Chris Sawyer must find it hard to breathe, sitting atop a pile of money that high. But for real coaster aficianados, the RTC games were a letdown. True speed freaks have sought out games that eschewed cute in favor of realistic physics and flexibility of design–the kind of “games” that the real coaster designers use in their demonic lairs. We want our coaster sims to be one step away from ordering the concrete, bringing in the steel, and hoping our neighbor didn’t notice we just demolished his house to put up that 200 ft, 120 MPH, quadruple looping inverted magnetic powered juggernaut.

German developer Mad Data’s NO LIMITS coaster software is one of those games beloved by the true believers. Featuring dozens of classic and cutting-edge real-world coasters, a powerful editor/designer tool, and ride-along physics that are guaranteed to bring on nosebleeds and nausea, NO LIMITS just keeps getting better and better with each small upgrade. Version 1.6 has just been released for Windows, and it’s half price ($14.95) for registered owners of previous versions. Improved support for all the latest graphical bells and whistles, improved water textures, and tweaks to the editor are just some of the added features, along with a plethora of the latest coaster types and a bunch more real life coasters to ride. Crank up the ass-rattling sound and baby, YOU ARE THERE.

If you’re looking for cute little “peeps,” soda stands, and t-shirt kiosks–or any other aspect of park management–look elsewhere. NO LIMITS is all about the coasters. The lighting and silky-smooth sense of speed are great, but the superstructures and landscapes are plainly textured and not particularly inviting. It’s hard to notice the grass, though, when your stomach is doing triple loops and you wonder where the double G-forces are coming from there in your living room. One little thing–there are crowd sounds at the launch station, but no actual people–crap, is this a coaster sim or an outtake from FINAL DESTINATION?

There may be even more “realistic” coaster designers out there, but they’re probably in-house tools used by the big boys. For the rest of us, NO LIMITS will do just fine.