Noooooooooo!!!

Posted by Denalan on Tuesday, May 3, 2005

Secret Satan has chosen to smite me with the terrifyingly horrific Mary-Kate and Ashley Sweet 16 Licensed to Drive, with the tag line, “Real Games for Real Girls”. Even though the mail carrier forced the package into my hands quite a long time ago, it’s taken me awhile to acknowledge its existence and post the arrival on EMB. Sorry for the delay; I think I’ve been in denial.

Picture of the game box of Mary-Kate and Ashley: Sweet 16, Licensed to Drive

So, you may ask yourself, “What has Steve done to deserve this?”. I ask myself that every time the game’s case stares at me tauntingly, daring me to get in touch with the 16-year-old girl in me. Oh, the agony! If any of you know the reason I should receive (not to mention play) this unjust “gift”, please let me know before I suffocate on my own digestive fluids.

Though it can’t be all bad…it has 30 mini-games. I like mini-games. Yes, I do. I shall play it, and post about every detail of the experience. Now where did I put the Pepto?

P.S. I must say the last few game reviews on EMB have been really good. Certainly on par or better than many gaming magazines. It makes me feel like I’m not matching the quality when I post about choking on my own barf.

5 Comments »

1146

Comment by Chris

5/4/2005 @ 9:44 am

Don’t worry, there’s a bucolic charm in listening to someone choke on their own barf.

1147

Comment by Steve

5/4/2005 @ 10:05 am

Ah, yes I guess that’s what happens when you play hours of violent video games. :)

BTW, I should mention that I completely forgot one of the girls had an eating disorder–any connection with that was unintentional.

1148

Comment by Dan

5/4/2005 @ 10:52 am

You know, I’ve actually purchased 2 copies of this game. I found them on clearance at Toys R Us for $1.50 each and turned around and traded them in to EB Games for $10.00 credit each.

Now, no matter how you look at it, it was a sound financial decision, but damn if I didn’t feel the world’s biggest ass both when buying them and when handing them in for trade.

Sometimes you can put a price on dignity.

1150

Comment by Tim

5/4/2005 @ 11:56 am

Dan, just tell them you were out of porn.

1153

Comment by Jeff

5/4/2005 @ 12:15 pm

Finally! The rest of the Secret Satan titles are beginning to emerge. Steve make sure to include screenshots of the “Escape your Full House past!” minigame. I hear the Bob Saget boss monster is a killer.

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