Last night I popped it in to give it a try while I was testing out my receiver (still on the fritz, mocking the shiny new Splinter Cell disc sitting next to it saying, “No surround sound for you, Sam”), and you can believe the hype. Instead of securing the rights to the character names and cover art for the box, they could have just called this game “Spastic Doorkickers” and saved themselves thousands more dollars, since they obviously didn’t put any resources into trying to make them look or sound anything like Will Smith & Martin Lawrence.

So far the worst part is the controls, since the dead zone on the right analog stick is so large as to make fine movements impossible. To compensate you can dial the sensitivity way down, but that means that when aren’t actively aiming at something, you revolve so damn slowly on your axis that you have a day/night cycle.

It’s not without its laughs, however unintentional they may be. These guys can’t just open a door, they kick it open. I can’t tell you how funny it is to kick open the door to a bathroom, kick open each stall, and then (here’s the best part) you kick open the door to the bathroom to leave it!!! You know what’s on the other side, you just came from there! Hilarious.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go kick open the door to my office, head down the hall, and kick open the door to the bathroom.

My moral dilemma stems from the shot not actually depicting my won gameplay rather than from a piracy issue.

It’s like drawing a moustache on the Mona Lisa. Call yourself a “Digital Dadaist” and do what you want.

http://www.eatmybomb.com/games/index.php?p=120

I am curious to see where you guys fall on the subject of modifying original content for use on this site.

Jeff likes to strip mine photos then go take a bath. Anyone else?

Even so, technically, they are the ones who actually descended into Hell to snap the photo. I just asked them that if they were going down there anyways and happened to see Satan with any deliveries for me, they get a shot of that, too. The credit is all theirs.

As far as the game goes, there were no less than 5 qualifiers for the “Mature” rating listed on the back of the game. That’s gotta count for something, right?

I’ve heard bad things about this game. I think it was on Game Informer’s list of worst games of 2004. It apparently does not include the voices or likenesses of either Will Smith or Martin Lawrence in the game.

Enjoy!