I had some botox done.

“Damn you and your gaelic doubles you brigand! One day it’ll be my turn…”

- Darrell Hammond as Sean Connery

I had an English teacher once tell me that nothing is classier than starting an essay with a relevant quote, although I feel like this isn’t what she had in mind.

Half-Life 2 ate the bomb tonight so I thought I’d lay my impressions on you in order to start the flow, as I am sure I’m not the only one who’s fed the bomb to this little gem. Valve has done a fantastic job on this title, and it was everything that I’d heard it was, which is rare in this age of hype. The graphics were beautiful and ran smoothly on my machine, the game pace was swift and kept things fresh (although I did get sick of Ravenwood), and this time I actually wished there was another level to play.

This game had a lot of qualities that I look for in a sequel. The obvious first is the stellar jump in technology and platform: there’s simply no question that this was visually the most well programmed game that I’ve played. I’d rate this one above Far Cry for visual effects. There was plenty of homage to the original Half-Life that reminded you why you love the first one. In this particular case, it was driven primarily by the characters who made the jump from the first to the second. There was a real sense of deja vu in several places: that tingly feeling that you’d been there before and you felt like the good old days were back. Finally, enough of a twist to make you really appreciate how the world had grown and changed since you saved it before. Seeing the vortigons on my side put a smile on my face, despite the fact that I really enjoyed popping them with the Magnum in HL1. I also hated head crabs in HL1, and I hate the new head crabs even more. Nicely done, Valve.

There were minor issues that nagged at me: I felt having a squad with me was useless, I got lost on a few irritating levels, and the constant need to rearrange the crap lying around got on my nerves, but these are minor details and don’t take too much away from the game.

The best part though, is the G-Man. That piece of crap used me like a Kleenex. Right from the get-go that cheap suited, briefcase carrying weirdo made it clear that he was going to give me the business, and didn’t want to hear any guff about it. The fact that a programmed creation toyed with my emotions so thoroughly makes me really want to shake some hands at Valve.

There’s a lot to see in this game, none of which I have to space to cover here. There’s no need to say what I’m about to say, but you really need to play this game.