FPS as laxative?

Posted by Dodongo on Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Hey everybody! Now that my album is finished and soon to be mastered and sell millions worldwide, I’ve had some time to eat bomb. My current dishes are Myth 2, Syberia, Warcraft 2 expansion, and Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

Let’s talk about that last one. First of all, the graphics are so smooth that it actually makes me nauseous. Secondly, this game requires a bed pan (I got a Belkin bed pan on Ebay for cheap). I was happy killing Nazis left and right and stealing their stolen relics. Then all of a sudden I’m in a tomb and zombies are busting out of the walls and throwing fire at me. I was never a fan of haunted houses or fun houses or houses with things that jump out at you. So I find myself crippled and walking around like Mr. Burns after playing this game because it freaks me out. The upside is that I’m more regular.

Right now I’m outside the tomb thankfully. I’ve just self destructed the rocket that was meant to deploy chemical weapons to London and am on my way through the air base. But I’ve got a feeling I’ll be underground again soon. So it’s plenty of cheese for me and $40 an hour for my nurse.

BTW - does anyone know if you can take snaps in this game? I haven’t found a way yet.

7 Comments »

215

Comment by Ryan

3/23/2004 @ 12:58 pm

Tim, I’m assuming you have the PC version. I made the booboo of buying it for PS2 which leaves absolutely no control over the crosshair. But nazis on fire means I may have to drop the 20 on the Mac version.

Loved the Original Wolfestein 3D. Please don’t disappoint me and tell me Hitler’s lackeys don’t scream “Mein Leben” when they emerge from the shadows.

216

Comment by Jeff

3/23/2004 @ 2:40 pm

Tim, once again extracurricular work is required to get the desired results. Check it out: http://www.wolfensteinresource.com/training/keybind.htm

Good luck, pal. BTW, the multiplayer in Return to Castle Wolfenstein is fantastic. We should give it a go sometime. And when are we meeting up for a Ghost Recon outing?

217

Comment by chris

3/23/2004 @ 8:23 pm

Boo shah! The flamethrower is a pretty useless weapon, but Nazis on fire can make anyone’s day. And get used to having things jump out at you. Especially dead things. With hatchets.

ps. I have been ghostly reconniotering things ever since EB had a “buy 1, get 2 free” on the used games rack. I’d be happy to reconnoiter some space in your gullet for a bomb or two any day.

218

Comment by tfranklin

3/23/2004 @ 9:39 pm

Sweet. Thanks Jeff. I’m up for Recon or Wolfen anytime this week. Give me a call or just nudge me in the morning…

219

Comment by Mike

3/23/2004 @ 9:59 pm

Jeff, you should page slapped him better than that.

220

Comment by Jeff

3/23/2004 @ 11:02 pm

Just thought I should define page-slap. It means to answer someone’s question with nothing but a URL.

Example: Do you know anyone who wants to buy a Chevy pickup?

Answer: www.craigslist.com

221

Comment by chris

3/24/2004 @ 8:42 pm

www.thanksforthedefinitionasIwassomewhatconfused.com

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