This post is going to sound like the diary of a mad man coming after the previous two, but I feel like I need to post it now rather than later. It seems that I’ve reached a critical threshold with gaming and with life in general.

It happened today while I was running next to The Charles. I was remembering the last time I ran before I got married and how much I was looking forward to being done with all the preparations and finally having some free time to work on other things. Today as I ran, after spending nearly the whole day playing video games, I realized that I was pissing all that free time away. I feel like I’ve reached a turning point in my life. Many things have conspired to cause this reaction: getting married, spending a week on the Cape with my wife and 2 best friends, and realizing just how stressed out I actually am. It’s shit or get off the pot time and if I’m serious about making music I have to drop everything else and devote myself to it. Therefore, I’m giving up gaming. I don’t intend my decision to be any sort of judgement on the rest of you who wish to keep gaming. I understand that it’s possible to game and do important things at the same time, but unfortunately I’ve never been able to grasp the concept of moderation. I’m an intense person who takes everything to extremes. For example, I used to really like Diet Coke. I ended up drinking 2 liters of it everyday and now can’t drink it anymore because of my chronic acid reflux disease caused by abusing the stuff. Ever since I joined this site I’ve felt a need to saturate it with all my creative energy. I feel like if I can focus that intensity on being a great songwriter and performer, that I can take that to the extreme as well. The only reason I’m posting this dreadfully sentimental stuff here is to stick my neck out publically in front of a forum of people that for some reason or another I feel the need to impress. I also feel that by leaving Deus Ex unfinished on my list of games it will stand as a testament to my desire to do something artistically fulfilling. The only exception I’m making is occasional multi-player gaming with my wife and/or friends which I feel is okay because it’s with other people and serves a relaxing social function. I’ll still check in and post my progress and perhaps some multi-player reports once a week if that’s okay. I don’t want this to turn into a support group or anything like that, but it gives me a reason to keep track of the work I’m doing. This site has been a lot of fun and a great creative outlet for me and I hope it continues indefinitely. Later - Tim