I have a little dilemma here. Monday’s cast is supposed to feature a review of God of War 2 from yours truly. unfortunately, because of a series of mailing mishaps I am only now getting the game, two weeks after its release. So here’s the plan: I will stay up as long as I can tonight to see how much of the game I can complete before work tomorrow morning. There are interruptions coming tonight, to be sure, but I will keep you posted and we’ll see how much I can get done. Keep an eye out, or Kratos will put an eye out. OF YOU!

Timeline: (all times PST)

5:15 pm - game begins (God mode, of course)
5:29 pm - first mini-game featuring sex with two girls. it involves a really disturbing statue with realistic “fountain” action. Mannekin pis, for you Dutch.
5:58 pm - the game seems a little more button-mashy than its prequel, but I may just be out of practice.
6:08 pm - colossus dead. I jumped into his appendectomy scar and gave him indigestion.
6:30 pm - Damn, fella, you squished my ride!
7:18 pm - Gaia said “taint.” Hee hee.
7:52 pm - Hmm… fiendishly clever puzzle. I have to stop and think about this one but it’s a perfect time. I told myself I wouldn’t let video gaming get in the way of going out with my friends, and it’s time for thursday night soccer. Back in a while.

10:10 pm - Victory! 6-5. Despite the fact that I played like an octopus out of water.
10:14 pm - if you grab the dogs you can drop kick them.
11:03 pm - I have never beaten a man so severely as I just did Theseus. That’s why I love this game: you get to travel back to an age of magic, meet legends of their time, and smash their heads in a door.
11:26 pm - Bugs. I feel this is a mistake on their part. Annoyance enemies… well, they annoy people. If it flies around in swarms or jumps up off the ground at you, don’t put it in your game.
12:02 am - The game made its first offer to switch me to easy mode. I told it where it could stick that offer. It’s not even the combat that’s the problem, it’s the puzzles. One in particular.
12:09 am - okay, so it wasn’t the puzzle, I found a different way to go. I just had an Ender-like determination to get past a suicidal jump.
12:44 am - This guy is what I refer to as a bad-camera-angle boss. I don’t know what the designers were thinking when they made the camera angle dependent on the boss, but as he moves around the ring so does the camera. The result is a really irritating constant spin as he trots around.
1:07 am - I’ve reached the third checkpoint in this boss battle. If you need three checkpoints to get through a boss, you need a weaker boss.
1:21 am - Well thank god that jackass is dead. So that’s what, 40 minutes? I don’t fell a sense of accomplishment in these situation, just irritation and exhaustion.

1:40 am - It’s break time. I’m resting for a bit to eat some nutriment and relate a story. I went to get some caffeine after the game and the scrawny white guy ringing me up was putting moves on the enormous black lady behind me. I’m not trying to make this about race, anyone who’s met me would laugh at the thought that I disapproved of inter-racial couples, but the thought of that tiny white boy getting destroyed by that giant woman made me laugh. I’m pretty sure her garment fell into the category of “mumu.” If he got what he wanted he would have ended up with a crushed pelvis to go with it.

3:11 am - What makes god mode hard isn’t the majority of the game, it’s the bosses and mini-bosses. I find myself breezing through the levels until I hit one of the above and then I spend forty minutes trying to beat this one dude. I suspect the pacing would be better in normal mode, but who wants to be reasonable here?
3:56 am - Well, first caffeine for the night. I’m going with the Starbucks Doubleshot.
4:18 am - This fat slug-ho is going to be the end of me.
4:28 am - SUCK IT FATTY! I GOT YO’ HEAD!
4:58 am - My cat is looking at me like I’m crazy.
5:40 am - Holy cow, it’s 5:40 am. When I started this I was all “there’s no way I’ll make it all night.” Now all I have to do is wait another hour and the alarm will go off.
6:48 am - I just finished a boss battle I actually enjoyed! Amazing!
7:13 am - Running out of time…

7:32 am - The second bullet of my gaming control policy says that I can’t miss work to play games.  Seeing as how it’s 7:30, the sun is coming up, and my alarm just went off, it’s time for me to call it a night.  Or morning.

I knew going into this project that I wouldn’t make it all the way through the game, but I’m guessing I’m about half-way in right now, but we’ll see.   That’s not too bad for God mode.