Having finally taken out Chunky Chong by backing over him with a station wagon, or family truckster if you will, in a never ending car chase (I managed to flip his piece of crap car four times and it still wouldn’t blow up), I continued to drive around Liberty City in search of good times. I found it in the source of driving two police cruisers into the water simultaneously with a large red and green (to put us in the holiday spirit) bus. A few moments later, with two helicopters overhead and several roadblocks in front of me, the mythical fifth star appeared at the top right corner of my screen. Unfortunately at this point, the bus has been slightly damaged and had blown up in an inferno of blood and short italian men. Of course, when the fifth star came up, I nearly spit my root beer out of my nose. Tragically, the fifth star was only up for roughly four seconds as 9 cops on foot put more holes in me than a cheese grater.

I then played Hot Shots 3 and kicked Spike’s ass.