My friends got a Wii last week. My first impression was one of disappointment. Then they got a second Wiimote. Yesterday we played Wii Sports for eight hours. I have now experienced a series of Wii related ailments that I’d like to share with you.

Wii Elbow

Quite simply, a symptom that you’ve been playing Wii Tennis too much or too violently. My friend (we’ll call him Matthew because that’s his real name) likes to slice at the ball as if he were an executioner trying to sever his victim’s head in a single, one handed blow. His shoulders, back, elbow, and upper arm paid for it this morning. My personal technique is all in the flick and twist of the wrist; which brings me to my next ailment:

Wii Wrist

A pre-cursor to tendonitis and possible carpal tunnel syndrome. This is particularly bad if you play while sitting down and let your wrist do all the work. Aside from my tennis swing, I get pain from my 94mph fast balls in Wii Baseball which I throw by violently flicking my wrist.

“Sheffield Tricep”

Another Wii Baseball injury caused by over swinging at the plate (in a manner similar to the late Gary Sheffield who looked like post super punch Super Macho Man after every swing). With proper timing, normal contact is all you need to hit it out of the park (unless you’re that dorky girl with glasses and freckles in which case you suck)

Post Wii Sleep Disorder

I can’t really pin this one as being Wii specific. I think if you play any game for eight hours you’re bound to see it when you close your eyes and try to sleep. In fact, Tranquility was the worst case of this and the only time I continued to see a game with my eyes closed the morning after I played it!

Phantom Wii Strap

Last night I was trying to sleep despite a bad case of PWSD and it felt like the Wii strap was still on my wrist. Whenever I checked to see if the wiimote was hanging off my arm, there was nothing there. Spooky….

Nunchuk Envy

Maybe it’s me, but I can’t wack it anymore without holding something egg shaped in my left hand.

Maybe it’s me….

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Does anyone have additional symptoms or testimonials to add to the list?