I hate dogs in video games. Hate them. They come out of nowhere and bite at your crotch with that rabid insane look in their eyes. They’re small, fast, and hard to hit and every developer puts in that pitiful yelp when you shoot them so you end up feeling sorry for the poor thing. Maybe it was that inside out zombie dog in Resident Evil that put me off for good, but nothing gets me more on edge than damn patrol dogs.

So when I saw my first dog in Splinter Cell, I decided to nip it in the bud and snipe the thing from a distance. I thought this would probably alert passing soldiers to my presence, but that’s what quicksave is for. Besides, I haven’t been allowed to kill anyone on this mission and I’m tired of elbowing everyone in the back of the head!

He’s licking balls in hell now.

Incidentally, a soldier walked right over the dog corpse twice and was completely unaware of any wrongdoing. Perhaps I got lucky and took out a Narcoleptic pooch!